In the space of a few short weeks, I found out that my host sister had stolen a huge sum of money from my room, I realized that my US cell phone was also stolen (so give me your numbers!), I moved out of that house and in with another family, I almost got attacked by dogs, and early one morning while walking to work some random guy on his bike grabbed my ass. Hard. This is the extremely edited and short version or the month, and all of this was on top of trying to plan end-of-the-year activities and say meaningful goodbyes. One of the most painful aspects of the month was realizing how disconnected I feel from my friends and family in the States. As time has gone by, I hear from loved ones less and less. I needed a strong support system, and I found that I didn't have much to fall back on. I know it's a busy time of year for everyone, and maybe I didn't have the energy to reach out enough.... still, more than anything I felt extremely alone.
All of this made it difficult at times to stay focused on my ministry and my purpose for being in Chile in the first place. However, I do feel that I did a good job (overall) of being present to the people and relationships that have impacted my life so much over the past 15 months. And I realized how much I have grown and how some of my ideas and values have changed during this experience.
When we were first deciding where to live last year, I decided against one option because I would have to walk through the teenage son's bedroom to get to my room. I felt that I needed more privacy, and that there was no way I would feel comfortable in such a situation. So I moved in to a house where I had all the privacy I could want and more, and I got a lot of stuff stolen. So much for privacy. However, and this is important, I really did enjoy my time living with that family and I maintain a close relationship with them.
When I moved in with my second host family, it was a drastic difference. The house is small, and almost all space is shared space. Ale and her 3 sons all sleep in one room and share 2 twin beds. I had to walk through their room to get to my little room, which was separated by a thin wall and no door. And yet I felt instantly at home there. I was grateful for all of the shared space and time together, and for being included instantly as a member of the family. The first couple of nights I was afraid that I would keep everyone up by snoring too loudly, but no one ever complained. Thanks to that family, all of the time I spent crying and so stressed out that I became physically ill was balanced with lots of laughter and love. In just a month I formed such close ties that I would have stayed in Chillán just to spend more time with them.
BUT.... I am now living in a small studio apartment in the center of Santiago with the man I love, starting out on a new and unexpected adventure. It has been a much needed change of atmosphere, and as the days go by I feel more and more like myself again. I still don't have a job (other than making and selling sock monkeys!), but I have faith that it will all work out. Santiago is a lot noisier than Chillán, and sometimes I think I might go crazy with all of the trucks going by and setting off car alarms. We live next to a bunch of stores that sell cheap underwear, and the streets are flooded with people buying Christmas presents. Like it literally takes 15 minutes just to walk down the block. There are a lot more interesting and expressive people here, and I enjoy taking in all of the fashion diversity. Our neighborhood has a large immigrant population, so along with different fashions there are many different accents to add to the flavor. Peruvians, Columbians, Chinese, Arabians, etc....
We are heading to the beach today, and will spend the Christmas weekend there. This particular beach is one of my favorite places in the world, and although it will be hard not to be with my family, I think it will be a fabulous way to end 2009.
